The Power of a Smile in Shamelessness

Not so long ago, I would walk down the street and complete strangers would stop me and ask, "What's wrong?" or "Is it really that bad?"

This has happened to me at least a dozen times. At first, I thought it was just because strange guys wanted to hit on me. When the frequency increased to include little old ladies, I realized that something else was really going on.

Neuro-Linguistic Programming teaches us that if we start with what's on the inside, it will change how we express ourselves. Sometimes, it helps to change our outward appearances to impact how we feel on the inside.

In our Shameless Self Promotion program from Shameless You!, we discuss getting rid of negative influences to help boost our confidence. As an architectural designer, I studied psychologically how environment impacts mood and our emotional core. The same is true of the clothing we wear. As Darcey Howard delivers through her company Lifestyled, our appearance is about the life you want to lead and the image you want to have.

Like getting rid of dead or fake plants in your house or updating your wardrobe to reflect the type of style and confidence you want to portray, we can also change how we present ourselves personally to get the confidence we need to have a positive impact and contribute to the world.

To get rid of my "permascowl", I followed the advice of a line I read in a book somewhere: It's hard to be angry when you're smiling. It took a seriously conscious effort to turn up the corners of my mouth and wear a self-satisfied little grin on my face much of the time. That's because, as a close friend of mine reminded me, the muscles in our face naturally keep our face looking slightly unhappy when they are completely relaxed. Unfortunately, when we're angry or frustrated or fearful, that pulls our facial muscles downward even more, creating a scowl that reflects what's going on inside even if we're not conscious of it.

The act of smiling actually makes us feel better. It draws people to us, makes us look younger, and encourages those around us to smile. When the people around us are happy to see us coming, we feel more confident about ourselves. When practiced regularly, the act of smiling will come naturally. Suddenly, you feel more confident, giving you more to smile about, which then boosts your confidence even more.

So sometimes, it's okay to start on the outside first, then work our way in. With just a simple smile, you can start feeling more confident and be quickly on the path to shamelessness.

Read more on the 10 reasons to smile from About.com.